October 5th 2007 - Its 2pm and I am blogging a little later then usual as I normally blog at around 11am when I take my first pill of the day... however, even though I only smoked 1 cigarette so far today... and took my pill as usual.... today is somewhat of a difficult day... the side effects are really breaking me down today.... I been getting these blank foggy spells when I kind of zone out, like yesterday.... I turned on the kitchen faucet and simply walked away from it without turning it off... didnt realize it was on until my wife noticed it... I have been getting these "blanks" as I call them, here and there, but nothing that as bad as forgeting to turn off the faucet... Then last night had a dream that I broke one of my teeth and as I spit it out... I woke up and ran to the mirror to see if I still had that tooth... IT WAS TOO REAL!

Today on the other hand... I an having this foggy dizzy sensation along with a headache. It started once the pill kicked in.... 20 minutes after I took it. But when I think about it.... I have been craving a cigarette for about 3 hours now and it might also be the withdrawl effects of me not having one.... Even though I set my quit date to be Monday Oct. 8th, I have put myself on a schedule... I am at the point where the past 3 or4 days I have been smoking no more then 6 cigarettes a day.... and I try to pace myself and extend my gap between cigarettes more and more each day as I get closer to Q-Day. So today I am forcing my self to only smoke 5 or less.

I have also become more moody the past few days, as per my wife. I told her that if I get really bad, she should take our daughter and stay at her mom's the first week I Quit completely. I am sure I will not be a pleasure to be around, especially the first week. I dont think she will do it but, that was my recommendation so she can't say I didnt warn her.
I read a blog today which stated that "the best place to quit smoking is in a cabin in the woods alone" I happen to agree with that 100%. With nobody or anything arround to irritate your "condition" you have a better chance of re-conditioning yourself quicker as you can focus on the problem at hand = your withdrawl effects and figuring out a "replacement" [to cope] instead of smoking. But we all have lives... we have families... we have jobs - so secluding yourself is not always an option. I have never tried to "really" quit before and never went more then 1 day without a cigarette, so I must say that Chantix really is doing something right.... I just hope that we are not simply "lab rats" and I truly hope that extensive reasearch has been done - I hope that we do not find out one day that this chemical effecting my brain is not worse then the cigarettes that we once smoked.... that does sound kind of negative and depressing... but thats my biggest concern. I can deal with the side effects and withdrawl but for some reason this strange thought keep popping into my head.... am I simply looking for a way out??? or is this a real concern?

P.S. by the time I finished writing this blog, my headache went away but I do still feel "cloudy" and tired. The headache I would really say is the withdrawl syndrome.... but the rest of it I would have to address as Chantix side effect. I hope this subsides as it is sort of slowing my work progress down.... Even though I am my own boss... I have things that I am procrastinating due to these side effects.... But at the same time, I am trying to leave more things for me to do next week as it will keep me more occupied on my Quit Week. - Its part of my master plan... OR IS IT?

OH and P.S. Again - more and more fellow-bloggers are giving me feed back and asking if they may link my blog on thier website... to this I say: "I'd love to hear more feedback from more people so I give written permission to ALL who want to link my blog - GO RIGHT AHEAD and LINK AWAY!
And as soon as I start getting more hits on my blog I will work on adding a section with all of your links... Thanks for all your support and encouragement... keep up the good work and stay smoke free!