October 15th 2007

So its been a week that I am smoke free.... its easier then I thought it would be... Yet still VERY difficult! Not only have I gone through many changes during this week, I have become a non-smoker, which is a good thing... however I have become very moody and easily angered, which is a bad thing... I am constantly stressed and always on the edge... I have also become a less fun person to be around due to these factors.... My jaw and teeth are hurting form all the chewing I have been doing to combat the habits that come with smoking... and now I hit a brick wall with my career... this has nothign to do with my quitting smoking it it may have a lot to do with my going back to it in the near future.

In order to not get into details... I will simply say that I have been forced to take a new career path... what that path will be is still a mystery to me, however the fact remains that in the near future, I will no longer be doing what I have been doing for the past 9 years. Again I need to stress that this has nothing to do with my quitting smoking... it really has to do with our crappy ecomony and vast changes of the location where my business is located. I seems as though the people with money have all moved and taken the money trail our of the neighborhood. Today a neighborhood which used to be typically Italian & Jewish is mainly turned into something I like to refer to as 'China Town'. Not that I have anything against Chinese people... well.... thats a different topic... as they are killing every Industry with their low cost - Low Quality Goods... which in turn... in a bad economy is what people tend to purchase as they cannot afford American made or European, better Quality products. Which in turn is another problem in itself... as with todays extremely high rents in the retail sectors... you must sell quantity instead of quality in order to be semi-successful... Now I am comming from a business known for its high quality merchandise... and since the change of environments from (middle to high income residents) to (Low to middle income residents) my merchandise and business have become obsolete, as the problem lies in the middle income residents being chinese folks who really arent spenders and when they do spend ....they only do business with thier own kind... and for me to take on another expense of hiring someone who looks and speaks chinese...is just not an option at this point.... so it seems that I will be cutting my losses and shutting my business down....

The only reason I am even discussing this personal matter on a blog dedicated to Chantix and Not Smoking is because I have a feeling that this will put me through some major stress and depression as it is quite sad that I need to close up something that has been put together with my own hands (with the help of my wife ofcourse)... I got a bad feeling that this whill be the downfall to my non-smoking days.... and unfortuantely this will come sooner then I had enticipated.... maybe if i set my mind to becoming a social smoker I will be able to overcome the pack-a-day addiction which I am fighting so hard to overcome.

To Be Continued....