October 23rd 2007

After much consideration and truly difficult deliberation.... I have decided to stop taking Chantix

Over the weekend... I decided to stop taking the pills and see where that goes... well to be honest... I feel GREAT.... it seems as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders... I feel happier... less angry at the world.... therefore the side effect which I have been worried about have pretty much tapered down to a level which I can deal with ... It may also have to do with the fact that I decided that I would do my best on my own to stay as smoke free as I can... meaning that I will have that occassional cigarette.
And so I have.... I had a few puffs on saturday when we went out drinking..... and had a cigarette on sunday when we went to a party..... and didnt really like it much ....so I was able to actually go without any smoking on Monday.... I dont know if it will stay that easy.... but this is what I have decided.... and I am a happier person for it. I do plan on going back to chantix and making another attempt at quitting completely in the not so distant future..... but for now, it was just not the right time for me to do so.....

Even though I had a few puffs here and there.... to be honest I didnt enjoy it.... I only did it for the habits which are so hard to erase..... Its probably the chantix still in my system.... MY GOAL [FOR NOW] IS TO BE A SOCIAL SMOKER.....I WILL DO MY BEST TO KEEP FROM GOING BACK TO A PACK A DAY.... I WILL EVENTUALLY POST MY THOUGHTS ON HERE AND PIONEER THE WAY FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN MY SHOES.... AND I WILL BLOG ON BEHALF OF THOSE WHO [AT THIS TIME] HAVE NO VOICE.....THOSE WHO BELIEVE THAT QUITTING [W/CHANTIX] IS NOT RIGHT FOR THEM AT THIS TIME OR EVER.... IN NO WAY AM I CONDONING MY BEHAVIOR [SMOKING]... NOR DO I THINK THAT ANYONE ATTEMPTING TO QUIT SMOKING SHOULD STOP.... AND HOPEFULLY SOON ENOUGH I WILL BE BACK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS STORY ONCE AGAIN, AS A SUCCESSFUL QUITTER! BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE WITHDRAWL AND SIDE EFFECTS WHERE ADDING TO INSULT TO INJURY AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE.... ONCE I GET MY AFFAIRS IN ORDER... I DO PLAN ON TAKING ANOTHER STAB AT QUITTING AND I PLAN ON FOLLOWING THROUGH TO THE END!

IN THE MEAN TIME I CANNOT SAY THAT NOTHING POSSITIVE CAME OUT OF THIS ATTEMPT, I NOW KNOW THAT I DO NOT NEED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE AS A REWARD TACTIC, OR AS A STRESS RELIVER...AND I ACTUALLY SMELL THE NASTY ODOR WHICH SMOKERS CARRY WITH THEM............... I JUST HOPE I CAN STAY ON THIS ROAD WHICH I HAVE COME TO.... ONLY MAKE THAT RIGHT TURN ON TO THE PATH OF SUCCESS IN THE NEAR FUTURE..

BE WELL & STAY STRONG