Tuesday, September 25, 2007

So I decided to quit!

September 25th 2007 - In my 30 years of life, I have spent 14 of them sucking on those cancer sticks we all like to call cigarettes. What started out as "the cool thing to do" turned into a pack a day habit. And thats on a good day... there are those long days, frustrating days, borring days and the list goes on, when I killed up to 2 packs a day. I have been toying with the thought of quitting for a number of years.... but you know how that goes... I like to tell people that "QUITTING" is easy... look at me I do it every day... but to this day I still have not "QUIT" I'm still in the process of "quitting". To be very honest, I cannot even fathom the idea of me being a Non-Smoker. What will I do with the time? you know...the time which I would normally go for a smoke...
My day starts with a cigarette and coffee - then another 2 stogies on the drive to work... 35 minutes later... I am outside my place of business yet having another cup of coffee shooting the shit with co-workers and friends...and yes you guessed it... Smoking! I do manage to get some work done right after that Nicotine and Caffeine rush which I have just injected into my body.
But the greatest urge for a smoke really comes after I enojoy a hearty meal... whether its lunch, brunch or dinner, my need for a cigarette is overwhelming... what will I do with the time???
Are my expectations too great??? Will I be able to go out for a breath of fresh air instead and at the same time watch my co-workers enjoy their fulfilment for that nicotine? I cannot say that I am a very weak minded individual considering that I have quit other fulfilling desires, such as pot... which needless to say was much easier as I belive that its non-addictive.
What will replace the habit of holding a cigarette ever so gently between my fingers? Or the motion of bringing that stogie to my lips and inhaling? Better yet the visual stimuli of blowing circles while exhaling that cancerous cloud.... what will I do with the time??

Well this is starting to sound like a short story rather then my personal thoughts, and thats not my intention... hold on while I like a marlboro.... yes I am still smoking... I simply stated that I decided to quit... not that I have quit... so lets go on....

After all those thoughts of how will I...? and what will I... ?? You wonder what made me finally take that last and final step to DECIDING TO QUIT... My 3 year old daughter and the "miracle drug" Chantix. First and foremost my daughter... each time she sees me with a cigarette she says things like "why do you smoke daddy...only bad people smoke" or "daddy I dont want you to smoke its bad for you" mind you she is only 3. Now for Chantix... my doctor recommened this drug and said that it has a very high success rate... so I agreed! I got the start pack and 2 weeks later I still have not started taking them... why? you may ask - because while I heard rave reviews from some friends on a personal level... I have also read some scary things which made my skin crawl. Forget about the side effects which are printed on the label... those come with pretty much all meds. What I am talking about are the Psychotic effects that have been noted on blogs and other forums. I mean shit... 1 guy commited suicide while another got shot for attempting to break into a house. But I DECIDED TO QUIT! and after long days of reading about the possitive and negative effects... I decided to take my chances. I mean those crazy psychotic acts were merely in the few and the number of people I know of that quit using this drug outweight that. So I decided to start this blog and enter my daily thoughts, behaviors and actions while quitting with Chantix.

Tomorrow will be my first 0.5 mg pill from the starter pack... I will be adding notes and comments as they occur and if anyone here sees me starting to go nuts or sliding into drepression... please dont hesitate to blog back at me! So starting tomorrow I have 7 days to officially kick the habit. Wish me luck in both quitting and having minimal or no side effects.

to be continued...

4 comments:

Shopper123 said...

September 26 2007 - Day 1 - took the first Chantix .05 mg pill. So far nothing to report - still smoking but at this point trying to cut down to make it easier for me on my quit date 6 days from today.... I hope its gets easier from here on out... cause as I sit here adding to this blog, I am eyeing my pack of smokes and forcfully stopping myself from pulling out a cigarette.

I will be updating any/all changes, feelings, side effects as they occur... so stay tuned...

Shopper123 said...

Still Sept. 26th - its currently mid-day (about 4 hours since i took my first pill) and I didnt think that I would be back here posting any changes this quickly... It might just be that my brian is psyching itself out from all the info I read in the past few days - but I honestly dont think so...

So here goes... 20 minutes after I took the first pill (and left the last comment on my blog) I did have that foggy sensation in my head, and I did get a bit hyper with some jitters. But those sensations grew weaker within the hour... What I did notice is that I had less of an craving to smoke..... can this really be ? right off the bat.. first pill ???

I called my wife and told this to her and she thinks its just that I psyched myself up for this and its not actually the pill... but I honestly think otherwise... I mean dont get me wrong... I still have the the formed habit of wanting to hold that cigarette and lighting it up... the actual process which is a habit within itself... is still there... I went outside to shoot the shit with my neighbor and as always we stand there smoking... but this time I only had 1 cigarette instead of the usual 2-3 during the 20 minute conversation... and to be even more honest... I smoked that cigarette with much less enjoyment... the craving was not there... I fullfilled my habit of simply holding the stogie and going throught the process... but for some reason I didnt feel the enjoyment of actually smoking it.. which didnt give me the craving to have another one right after as I would normally do.

So I wonder... can this miracle drug actually work from the very first pill??? I'm still going to go out and have a cigarette in a little while... but by this point I would have normally smoked 3-4 and that would have been my fifth.

And just to recap...this morning before I took the pill (9am until 11:30am)...I smoked 5 cigarettes. After I took the pill (11:31 until 3pm) I only smoked 3.
I will do my best to keep track throughout the day(s).

Keep hope alive!

maggie said...

Wishing you the best of luck! Today is Day 101 smoke-free in large part thanks to Chantix. I had to cooperate with it, but it helped plenty. I've been blogging my way through the experience along with lots of others, and it has helped much.

If you create new posts each time instead of comments on the same post, it will be easier for folks to read along on your journey - and I'm looking forward to reading along!

Jay Plaehn said...

Hi. I am a producer at the CBS Evening News doing a story on Chantix. Have you had suicidal thoughts or other negative side effects from the drug? If so, could you email me at klissasd@cbsnews.com. We are trying to find someone in the NY, Boston or LA area. Thanks! D.